"Please pray for me and put my story up on your site so
that others can learn from my mistake!" 15 year old
Many people think that an addiction to sex would be a
great thing - indulging those great feelings all of the
time! Read some true life stories below to know what it
is really like.
Other teenagers will think they are addicted to sex when
in reality they are only experiencing the results of
normal surges in hormone levels which they are not
familiar with. They have never experienced dreams and
sexual thoughts about other people as consistently as
they do now. They think the worst first - SEX
material that is sexually graphic (movies, videos,
books etc.) used to become sexually aroused.
inciting, provoking or stirring up a sexual response.
life devoted to a particular habit
natural substance in the blood (testosterone) which
causes physical sexual changes (puberty) and maintains
Every teenage boy will have his sexuality awakened -
ready or not! This means many personal changes including:
- a new personal sexual appetite
- an increased interest and curiosity about other
people's bodies (both male and female)
- far more thoughts about sex than you ever had before
- regular erections of the penis
- wet (sexual) dreams
- masturbation (which seemingly can't be stopped)
- fantasy (deliberate imagination of sex with another
person for personal gratification)
Many boys think they they have become "like the rapist
they saw on the T.V. news" because of the power of this
new sexual nature that has burst upon them.
The reality is that this is all normal and is common to
every male. The sexual aspect is to be a great part of
every man's nature to bring pleasure and ultimately union
with one woman in marriage.
The problem comes when you allow your sexual nature to
dominate and control your personality.
Unedited e-mail warning about sexual addiction
I am a 15 year old Male. I grew up in a
Christian family. I have an addiction to pornography on
the internet. I have an Internet Service provider that
tries to block these sites. My addiction is so strong
that I found a way to get to the sites before they were
blocked. I also found a way to access the internet
without my internet service provider. I downloaded a
program that lets me access tons of porn. I spent 480
dollars in an hour and a half. After I did all this I
started to freak out. "how am I going to tell my parent
when they get home". "How am I going to pay for this?".
"God, please help me get though this". I read my bible
and I searched up masturbation help sites like yours. I
did all this in one day and I haven't yet told my parents
about the phone bill (they haven't gotten home yet)
please pray for me and put my story up on your site so
that others can learn from my mistake! Thank
you (15 year old boy USA)
Thanks for sharing your story and yes I will put it on my
site as a warning for others. My advice is that you have
to tell your parents the truth. Sooner or later they are
going to know anyway. They may well react badly
initially, but all good relationships are based on
honesty - even when the other people don't want to hear
it sometimes! Your parents will most likely want to help
you and you should accept their help - I don't need to
tell you again the affect porn can have on you.
Any other method you would think of to get around this
problem will probably take you in further e.g. running
away from home etc. Face the problem head on - you would
be surprised how many young (and older) men battle with
Second unedited e-mail warning about sexual addiction
My story is
different from the ones that are on the web site. Mine
deals with the addiction of sex. I believe the AA folks
have it right; once an addict, always an addict. I
think this true because the addictive feelings are now
part of you.
When I was younger, 5 or so, my parents divorced. This is
coming to be a norm for most children now. Anyway I
mention it because I never really had a good male role
model when I was in my impressionable years.
In junior high school I was a small kid and was
physically and emotionally picked on. One joke was that I
masturbated. That and the company I was around started
getting into pornography. Magazines that were stolen from
shops were kind of passed around. I eventually bought one
It was a "hard-core" magazine. It showed penetration and
group activities. I was raised in church, but it was more
ritualistic than God directed. I knew that the magazine
was wrong, but I was also allured by the "joy" of sin.
I hid the magazine and looked at it when I was home
alone, everyday after school. I got excited from the
sexual arousal of seeing naked women and men and women
Soon I found out about masturbation (6th or 7th grade).
It was after taking a shower after looking at the
magazine. I was aroused and after drying myself I
"discovered" what masturbation was.
I was going to get rid of the magazine one day, after
realizing what I was doing. My parents found it in the
bottom of my bed the night before and confronted me about
it. I lied. So that blew over and I learned that I could
get away with what I was doing. It fueled it more.
Then masturbation was my high. I did it while I was
unable to get pornographic material. In high school, I
was able to get back to pornographic material. I now had
an unlimited supply of it: the Internet. Now what had
begun with simple images of nudity and occasional
intercourse turned into all the perversions of the
Those images started me masturbating more. Sometimes it
would be 3 to 4 times a day. Other days were too busy so
I couldn't. Soon the pornography and masturbation weren't
enough. It wasn't satisfying the void. Then I found that
I could get something more from the internet. I could get
videos of couples having sex. Then I only sought those
that had sound with them.
At this same time the masturbation perversion went up. I
started using my pillows to "simulate" a woman's body. I
would use toilet paper or condoms from the community
college to keep from making a mess. The whole time things
were worsening, fantasizing reached sickening
I started out fantasizing about the "models" in the
pictures I saw. Next it turned to girls that I had
conversations with. Some of which I considered friends.
Some I really wanted to have closer (healthy)
relationships with. See I never learned how to express my
interest in the opposite sex.
Once leaving for a four year school things got worse. I
had started making God a priority in my life but I
couldn't get away from what it was that I was doing. An
Ethernet connection in my dorm room kept my pornography
lust fulfilled and growing. I had troubles both
academically and with my living condition. This made me
retreat into my pornographic and masturbation addiction
more. It reached the point where I was doing that so much
that it hurt me sometimes.
Upon leaving that four year school, I found hope back
home. I was able to find a church where I am now able to
correct the behavior and thoughts in an accountable and
yet nurturing environment. I was able to pick up a book
that was written by a pastor that helps others with
sexual addictions. It is titled "Pure Desire" by Ted
Roberts and the ISBN number is 0-8307-2335-8.
This book has helped me look not at the problem of
pornography and masturbation in my life but also the
things that built those addictions into my life. I am
able to start living a better and happier life. I still
have struggles with things though.
I am 21 years old. I have never kissed a girl and I have
never had a girlfriend. In whole because I never learned
how to express my feelings toward women that I liked or
in general. I also programmed my mind to see them as
physical pleasures to be sought after.
It hurts me to know that. I am working on making female
friends but it is hard because I want a wife and I want
to have children with her. I want to love her and my
children and raise them WITH her.
Ted Roberts makes the point that there is a difference
between a man and a boy. A boy wants things his way, now.
A man can put others needs above his own. One
particularly strong point is that a man can fulfill the
emotional needs of his mate. I don't have the faintest
clue how to meet the emotional needs of a woman. I have
never had a close enough relationship with one.
I don't tell this to make you feel sorry for me. I
brought it onto myself. We reap what we sow. I tell this
story of my most private and shameful history so that
others might not fall into the same living hell that I
lived for the better part of 10 years. There are
highlights to it though.
I thank God that a woman that wanted sex never found me.
I fear that I would have had sex with a woman and I would
be far worse off than I am now. That is a blessing. The
thing about sex is that is isn't between your legs, it's
in your head. Sex is how you perceive what you are doing.
In that respect, I used pornography and masturbation as a
drug to placate a hole in me. If it would have gone to
sex, prostitution is an easy way to get it, and it will
get you at some point.
If you are in sexual relations with someone, stop. Find
an accountability partner to help you through your
struggles. I can't tell you how relieved and freed I felt
after telling a friend of mine that I had a problem with
pornography and masturbation. It came through choked
utterances and tearful eyes, but it was done. Read "Pure
Desire." Most importantly right now you need to make a
decision to change what you are doing. The first thing I
recommend after finding an accountability partner is to
make a plan. Make a plan on how to avoid falling by
planning ways out of temptations. Not to make things OK
or acceptable, make a plan on what you are going to do if
you have a relapse into that behavior.
The most important thing is to remember that Jesus paid
the price for your sins. And he knew you would need it
2000 years ago !!!! And when He hung there on that cross
and scorned its shame, Jesus' blood washed your heart of
your iniquities, just as David said in Psalms.
Those things remind me of how important God is in
instituting change and reconciling the past. Those two
things make Jesus our Father, and most importantly, our
What you can do about it
The first step to recovery for anyone in sexual bondage
is to come out of the darkness of hiding and face the
truth in the light. (36)
If you can't manage to control the addiction yourself,
then get help! Try the book referred to above.
There are also plenty of Christian websites offering more
detailed help. Search on "sex +addiction +christian".
Look at several sites to make sure the advice is
Talk to a counselor at your local church - you're not the
first person to face this problem!