When I get a 'hard-on' in the subway, I think, "Oh no, everybody's noticing me!". I
don't have any control over it and it makes me want to slink off and
not
even get off at my stop. 14 year old
boy USA (2)
This is what most young guys think..
It is like there is an unwritten rule
that erections should only happen when a boy is having sex or
dreaming about sex or making out with a girl. If an erection happens
any other time it is a major cause for concern!
Nothing could be further from reality! Erections will
happen to a
teenage boy anywhere and everywhere and frequently.
It is normal!
Definitions
- Penis
- This is the part of your body that you pee out of.
- Erection
- This is when
your penis becomes hard and stiff.
- Aroused
- In this context means
having a sexual response (erection).
Street names for erections
Boner, Stiffy, Hard-on, Crack a
stiff, Crack a fat, Woody, Fat, Tool-up... and lots of others...
The Concerns
- I get erections "all the time".
- My penis seems to have a mind of its own.
- I never used to be like this.
- Is there something wrong with me? (Maybe cancer!)
- Am I becoming a sex maniac? (like the rapist I saw
on T.V.?)
- Am I becoming gay? (There were only boys around the
last time it
happened!)
- What will people think if they see the bulge in my
pants?
- Is my penis big enough when I have an erection?
The Facts
Erection of the penis
(often at the wrong time) is normal, especially for teenage boys. It
does not indicate that the boy may be gay or becoming a sex maniac.
"Erection of the penis
during adolescence can be very rapid. Full erection can be achieved
within three to five seconds from the start of stimulation.
Stimulation can be direct or indirect through fantasy. The adolescent's
penis at times seems to have a 'mind of its own' and will erect at
awkward moments, causing him to feel embarrassed. It may erect for
example after being rubbed slightly by his clothes while he is
walking, due to pressure when he sits down, to the touch of
bodies...., to daydreams, while he is listening to stories with a
sexual
theme, while he is talking to girls, or while he is looking at
advertising displays featuring the female body" (1)
Erections can also happen while the
teenager is doing an activity he particularly likes or one that causes
strong emotions such as excitement or fear (e.g. abseiling or go-kart
racing) or for absolutely no reason at all - even at church!
It is not uncommon for a boy to experience an erection
when he
definitely doesn't want one - like when getting changed or showering with
others after sports. There is something about having other naked bodies around you that can trigger you off. Also, if one guy gets and erection, you can be sure that others will respond the same way in a very short space of time!
It is the release of the male hormone
"testosterone" into the blood stream that causes your body to over-react to all these situations and give you erections of
your penis.
Physically speaking, erections happen when your brain
directs extra blood to your penis. This is needed when you are an adult
to be able to successfully have sex with a woman for pleasure and to
produce children. As a teenager, your brain has to learn to 'get it
right' about when to send the extra blood down there. While your brain
learns, you have to put up with all the 'false alarms'! "Now?" says the
brain. "No, not now" you respond. "Oops - too late to turn back. Let's
trigger off the embarrassment center in the brain instead!".
Dumb Illustration!
We have a dog that shows up
occasionally through the evening just to say 'hello' for no reason at
all. In addition, if there is anything exciting or unusual happening,
you can guarantee the dog will also show up to see what is going on.
That is a bit like it is for a lot of teenage boys:
their penis becomes
erect sometimes for no reason at all, but if there is some action that
excites the boy or something happens that the boy really likes (not
even sexual) then very often an erection happens!
Whenever I'm playing
football or baseball on the Sony PlayStation I always get an erection. age
16, Missouri (11)
I don't know why, but when "E. T."
lights his finger up. That just gives me an erection for some
reason. age 12, Florida (3)
My first "sexual experience," if
you can call it that, came when I was about 8 years old, watching a
James Bond film. One of the Bond Girls removed her bra. You didn't see
anything, but the very idea of an exposed breast gave me what I later
understood to be my first erection. I'm 19 now. USA (3)
This is ridiculous. I'm 19, and I still wake
up EVERY day with an
erection. But that's not the ridiculous part. I seem to have some sort
of clock in my penis that knows it's 10 AM. Every day, at 10AM, I get
an erection. It doesn't matter whether I'm at work, sitting in my car,
or
in school. It's embarrassing! I've been dealing with the 10 AM
erection,
as well as ones at other random times, since I was 14. Aren't the
random erections supposed to stop by now? I'm tired of trying to hide
it all the time. (3)
Although the number of unwanted
erections decreases as the boy moves into adulthood, he never gets
total
control over that member of his body throughout his entire adult life!
It is normal for all guys to often have
several erections at night while sleeping and to wake in the
morning
with one as well.
What you can do
about it
Males are aroused sexually
mainly by what they see with their eyes or with their mind's eye
(imagination). They can also be aroused by other sources too e.g. touch
or smell but usually to a lesser extent.
Controlling your thoughts
and what you look at can go some way to helping stop unwanted
erections,
but whatever you do, erections will still remain a part of the
adolescent boy's life!
Gym showers
I get so many emails about guys understandably being afraid of getting an erection or being tormented about their "size" when they are forced to shower together after sport sessions. For some guys this is a fear that dominates the rest of their week leading up to gym class.
Firstly, you can be assured that very few guys are comfortable with the group shower situation, that is especially typical of the US system. You are not alone in your feelings! The guys who would make fun of you are generally the ones who feel the most insecure and try and get the attention onto someone else.
If you spend time fearing an erection, then it will most likely happen! It is like setting an exercise of trying not to think of pink elephants for the next 5 minutes - and what can't you help thinking about then?
Watch what you are looking at in the change room. Every guy is turned on by what they see and that particularly relates to teenagers with any situation even remotely sexual - and guys walking around with no clothes on comes into the "sexual" category! Just get on with what you have to do and then leave. While you are in the change room, try and send your mind to another place! Think about mowing the lawn or painting the house!
Instead of imagining yourself "failing" during the showers, try and imagine yourself going through the whole shower scene and coming out without having had an erection! That might take some effort at first, but sports stars use that method all the time to visualize themselves as winners to overcome their fears.
These tips might help but they are not a guarantee. Teenagers get erections all the time and that is life - it could happen to any guy in the shower!
See
this newspaper report
about the change in attitude towards having to shower after gym class.
Q and A
 Lately my penis has been getting hard
all the time, even when I don't think about sex at all. It seems to
have a mind of its own. What can I do about it? It's really
embarrassing sometimes -- at school, when I've got a bulge in my pants,
I imagine everyone is staring at it. age 14, Australia
Welcome to puberty! You're describing
one of the most common experiences of a boy's teenage years. There are
some ways to help this problem, though. Wear tighter underwear
(briefs) and less revealing pants, and if you feel yourself start to
get an erection, discreetly put a hand in one of your pockets and move
your penis so it's pointing to the side. It also helps sometimes to
keep your hands in your pockets, so you can hold your penis in this
position. Other than that, good luck! (3)
Different Advice:
Many guys my age are really self-conscious about
showing their erections while you're in shorts or something. I (and
probably many others) have found a way so nobody can tell. Basically,
put your penis against your stomach and slide up your underwear or
pants so the elastic band that holds up your shorts/underwear is
covering your penis. This keeps it from poking out. After a while, the
erection will go down and you won't have to worry about it anymore. (3)
Last week I saw two
dogs having sex and as I watched them I started to get an erection. Is
there
something wrong with me because I got
turned on?
No! Teenagers are easily turned on by anything
sexual or even non sexual.
In class the other day it was crowded around a science desk and my knee was against another guy's leg and I got an erection! Is there something wrong with me! Does it mean I am gay? age 13, Australia
No - it doesn't mean you are gay! Your body responds to the touch of another person. The touch sensors in your skin don't know whether you are touching a boy or girl - they just respond to touch.
Once, in the locker
room, I had an erection when I saw some of the other guys
changing...does
this mean I'm gay?
As some of the other answers have said,
guys easily become sexually excited in their teen years. This can
happen in completely non-sexual situations, in situations like locker
rooms where guys are changing, and of course in actual sexual
encounters. Having an erection in the locker room is generally
embarrassing. You may even have been teased or called names like
"fag", but it does not mean that you are gay.
In the same way, if a guy finds a
magazine with pictures of naked men and is turned on, that does not
mean that he is necessarily gay. Teenagers are often aroused by
anything that is sexual, whether it has to do with the opposite sex or
the same sex.
Your sexuality is now "wide
awake" but it still needs time to find its focus. Be careful not to do
things, or participate in stuff that could direct
your sexuality in directions you do not want it to go in your life.
This link is the site the last
question came from. It is an excellent resource for teenage boys with
questions: "What is happening to me - could this mean I'm gay?"
Bent
Penis when erect
Hi, I'm 17 years old,
and I would like to know what is wrong with my penis. I started to
masturbate when I was about 12 going to 13, .... then I saw that my
dick
wasn't straight anymore, it curved to the right. I tried to bend it
back
as hard as I can, but it won't go back it only hurts. I think I have
some disorder. I was chatting and some one said they could put a cast
on it. So I don't know. I'm afraid of what girls will think when they
see it. please, if it's a disorder, please help me. thank you.
email me back. (3)
I have masturbated for over a
year, and it seems my penis is bending to the left side. Do all guys'
penises do that? age 14, Iowa (3)
My friend's penis curves upward
when it is erect, and mine doesn't. Why is that? Our penises are the
same size. age 16, Pennsylvania (3)
My erect penis curves upward by
about 30 degrees. It doesn't affect me in any way apart from how it
looks. What will girls think? (3)
This is much more common than you think.
Don't worry about it. A woman's vagina is highly flexible, so it's not
likely to have any anatomical (physical) bearing on intercourse. Every penis is
built a little differently. Some curve down, and some curve to the left
or right when erect. (Some point straight out when erect, others are
hard against the stomach.) If it provides pleasure, it shouldn't matter
what shape it is. (3) Have a look at the charts on the Penis page for more information about how common this is.
By the way, girls have exactly the same "what will
they think?"
concerns about their bodies. (3)
If your penis
suddenly bends after being straight (especially if there is pain
involved), or the bend is gradually getting worse, then you should see
a
doctor. Take along a digital image to show him the problem.
|