Sex Drive

Where did that new desire come from?
Image by Nicki Varkevisser CC BY 2.0 Cropped

Testosterone - T - the hormone

No interest in sex without T

Today

At a certain point in his life, a boy will have a release of T which is around 40-100 times more than he had as a typical 10 year old boy. [1] This causes every boy to have his sexual nature awakened in him without warning. The sexual desire will become like a raging fire which will direct his thoughts, feelings and actions in a way that he has not experienced before. The highest level of T and this sex-drive for a boy's whole lifetime will be between 18 and 20 years of age.

The subtle society message is to indulge these new desires without much restraint. Not too long back the slogan was 'If it feels good - do it". The media message is still the same.

The advice from most Christian and some secular organizations is to use restraint. It is like suddenly being gifted a very powerful race car. If you go for it and use the car without restraint you will crash. Suddenly this great gift which was for your enjoyment has damaged you - often for the rest of your life.

Definition

Testosterone 'T'
A hormone always present in the blood stream of boys and girls. The level increases dramatically in boys during teenage years. Testosterone is mostly produced in the testicles.
Sex drive
The need for sex, sexual urge. Slang - feeling horny, erotic, the hots, libido, hankering, itch, lust

Testosterone

Testosterone is responsible for all the physical changes of puberty that happen to a boy. Some of these obvious changes are voice deepening, hair growth, semen production, muscle growth, penis and testicles growth.

Other less obvious changes occur to the guy at the same time. Compulsion to release semen through masturbation or sex, lust for another person's body, strong drive for independence.

Testosterone levels vary from one guy to another. The levels also can change at different times of the day and between days.

Testosterone is a powerful hormone, with the ability to control sex drive, regulate sperm production, promote muscle mass, increase energy, and even influence human behavior (such as aggression and competitiveness).

Men masturbate more than women - much more. Masturbation is considered by sex researchers to be one of the purest measures of sex drive, because it is not much constrained by external factors (such as the need to find a partner, or the risk of pregnancy or disease).

A 1989 study involving six tennis players showed that the winners, especially those who had very high evaluations of their victories, had consistently elevated T-levels while the losers, also on par with their view on their defeat, had consistently lower.

Christian view

God is the creator of sex. He set our human drives in motion, not to torture men and women, but to bring them enjoyment and fulfillment.

Sex in marriage is beautiful, enriching and fulfilling when practiced as He directed.

  • God created our sexual desire - it in itself is not sinful or dirty.
  • Ready or not, the desire will awaken in a boy during his teenage years and will be with him for the rest of his life.
  • Once the sexual desire is awakened in a boy (usually through a wet dream) he is on a steep learning curve. He must learn how this sexual nature functions, what triggers it off, how to control it and how it affects the rest of his being.
  • The sexual drive was created to bring ecstatic (truly great) pleasure to a man and woman in the bounds of marriage. Any other setting (involving another person) produces guilt and robs you of the original intention of satisfaction.
  • The sexual union is a spiritual phenomenon where "the two become one flesh" God intended the act of marriage to be the most sublime (greatest) experience two people could share [together] on earth

Problems

Some young guys have a lot of trouble coming to terms with this new sex drive within them. For some guys it is the worst thing they have experienced in their life up to this point. All the following are brought on by T.

  • Lustful thoughts and dreams towards other people.
  • The need to regularly masturbate.
  • The 'guilt' which changing hormone levels cause after masturbation.
  • Erections at any time.
  • Attraction to porn.
  • Can feel like another force has taken over your mind and body.
  • Your life is out of control.
  • Fear you are becoming a sex maniac.
  • Fear you are sinning.
  • Find myself drawn into sexual situations.

Your sex drive cannot be turned off without paying a huge personal price for the rest of your life. So you need to come to terms with what T is doing in your life and accept the way things are. As with all things in life, it is not WHAT happens to us that matters but rather HOW we respond to what happens to us. Get informed.

More information

Wolf & Iron website
Wolf and Iron is to be a voice and a light to the way of Manliness. Highly recommended
Your brain on Porn website
Testosterone Research versus Testosterone Myths

References

References noted above