"Lust entices you with promises of feeling great with
lasting pleasure. The reality is that it will leave you
feeling miserable, wanting more and hating the
Every guy knows what lust is and how
quickly he can be turned on sexually when he lusts after
another person's body. Every teenager finds lust
triggered off in their life when puberty begins. They
don't have to invite it in - it just appears!
How we handle that lust determines whether we will be a
success sexually or be broken and destroyed sexually.
Unbridled, uncontrolled or lawless sexual appetite.
Using pornography is a powerful example of lust in
A foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant short-lived
passion or attraction.
Lust, love and infatuation are difficult to define and
separate in our minds. True love is "selfless" rather
than "selfish". True love seeks what is best for the
This link gives a great comparison
between infatuation, lust and love.
Why lust is a problem
"Here's how you can be satisfied without doing things
God's way". The truth is that lust will leave you
unsatisfied and will continually push you to greater
highs by crossing your personal and society moral
boundaries. Uncontrolled lust will lead you on a path to
self destruction. The more lust is fed, the more it
demands to be fed!
Phrases like "just appreciating God's creation" or "just
window shopping" are often used to cover up the real lust
Why do we have this lust ability inside us?
It is the sexual desire that attracts us to the beauty of
a female body. It is this sexual desire that will join
you "as one" to your marriage partner. That is why we
have this powerful force within us - to ultimately bring
great satisfaction with a life-long marriage partner.
Normal teenage sexual thoughts
It is hard to
picture how any boy growing through adolescence could
come to desire a woman sexually without having at some
point pictured in his mind what it must be like to have
sexual intercourse with a woman. In fact, I would think
that the only boy who might not have such thoughts would
be one who received a message growing up that all sexual
intercourse is evil. As puberty increases his capacity
for sexual feelings whether he consciously directs it or
not, his mind will be drawn towards those things that
increase sexual pleasure. God's intent for the energy
growing in him is that it will lead him to marry one day,
and so, hopefully, he will direct his sexual thoughts
that way. Is this wrong? Is this lust for an adolescent?
I think not. Lust has two elements: a desire that has
gotten inordinately strong and a demand for the immediate
satisfaction of that desire. Neither of these is
necessarilypresent in a boy starting to think
about sexual intercourse. The job of his parents - and
the church - is to seek to channel his sexual desire
toward its proper use, not to try and stamp it out
Not all desire for good things is lust. When I am hungry,
I might really want a hamburger, but that does not mean I
lust for food. What marks a Christian man is the ability
to keep balance in his life, the capacity to delay the
satisfactions of his appetites, and a focus on the truly
good - not that he has no desires. (42)
how sometimes it only takes a glimpse of another person's
body or a sexual situation and that image is burned into
your brain instantly. That image and the feelings can
recall themselves at any time, or you can recall them
yourself at any time. That image and feelings will remain
just as powerful for many years!
Some have referred to this as the male (old fashioned)
"referdex", similar to the way people store telephone
numbers and addresses ready for quick retrieval. Women do
not function this way and find it hard to comprehend the
way the male brain works in this (and other) areas. That
is why most girls don't see the problem in dressing to
get attention, because to them that is often all they are
doing - wanting to be noticed.
Guys, this is how it is! It is doubtful this would be
lust because it comes on without warning in a sudden
situation outside of the guy's control and you can't just
erase the image and feelings with some sort of
repentance. Once the image is in there - it is there to
I'm talking about unintentional (accidental) image
collection here. Deliberate collection is another thing
and unchecked can cause all the problems we talk about
I get lots of
emails from young guys who find it impossible to control
the sexual thoughts and the urge to masturbate, often
masturbating several times a day.
Your immature body has been flooded with a chemical
called testosterone which brings on these strong sexual
urges - it was not something you did! You might have to
go with it for a while until your body matures a bit and
you get used to the effect this chemical has on your
biological system. Plus, you are just discovering what a
great gift has come alive in your body and like all good
gifts, you want to use it and enjoy it - it is a normal
fact of being a male human being!
You tend to get a bit more in control of things as you
get older and you understand more how it all works. My
advice is to masturbate as you need to, but don't try and
speed things up by using lust (particularly porn) to
bring on masturbation sooner than your body dictates. It
takes time to learn all this - just keep heading in the
direction of letting your body gradually getting horny
and then masturbate.
What the Bible says
The Bible is very clear on the subject of lust:
Flee also youthful lusts, but pursue.....love... 2
The Bible acknowledges the world of lust that young guys
are in and gives clear direction about what to do about
it - however:
"Lust" isn't an easy word to define. The dictionary
defines it as a "strong sexual desire", however, the
Bible must mean something different than that because
these verses apply to all people - including married
people who are permitted and expected to have sexual
desires. Masturbation is never given as an example of
lust in the Bible. (37)
Now, God made you sexual, it's part of being "wonderfully
made," it's a gift from God, a blessing to you. Your
sexual feelings are part of how God made you and what God
gave to you - and God said, "it is good" (He meant it,
too). It's part of the "program" God has just downloaded
into you - and God didn't make a mistake or set you up to
sin. But if we dwell on ungodly, sinful, twisted,
perverted sex - that's not thanking God, that's not
rejoicing in our sexuality, thats' mocking it - and the
Bible calls that "lust." In reality, it's a fine line
that you'll be struggling with for the rest of your life.
How can I masturbate without lust?
I have tried living totally without lust and I can't do
it. I get the urge to masturbate and I go ahead and then
reach a certain point where I can't seem to go any
further to ejaculate unless I imagine a sexual situation
with another person. How can I satisfy this sexual desire
without the lust that makes me feel so bad afterwards?
15 year old USA
This is one of the biggest hassles for young guys who
want to do the "right thing" by the Bible's principles.
Some guys say they can go all the way to ejaculation with
no fantasy, but most say they can't achieve orgasm
without at least some fantasy near the end of the
If we look at wet dreams (the totally natural way that
God designed us guys) there is nearly always some
sexually based dream that accompanies ejaculation.
Perhaps this is a natural "base line" for how much
lust/fantasy is acceptable, given the fact that wet
dreams are totally out of our control and we believe our
sexuality and the way it works is given to us as a gift
The Bible is unclear in this particular area of lust. We
have the contradiction that lust is definitely out from a
Bible perspective, but the natural function of wet dreams
requires a sexual image to finish off with ejaculation!
Somewhere in there is the middle ground we are looking
The way out
No guy will ever "conquer" lust. It is a daily discipline
for all of us to stay free of its domination because we
are creations who are turned on by what we see. If you
have allowed lust to control things, you need to achieve
these following steps to get free of its grip on your
life and get back to a healthy balance:
- Stop using porn (images, music, reading material,
games) to bring on masturbation. Let masturbation be
brought on instead by the hormone pressure within you as
your male body clock dictates.
- Reduce the lust even further by masturbating to the
good feelings and then use one of those stored sexual
images in your brain to "finish off". This is roughly
equivalent to the way wet dreams work.
- Wait until the hormone pressure builds enough that
(as some guys claim) you can masturbate without any
fantasy/lust. Don't worry too much if you can't get to
this level - a lot of young and older guys can't and
probably never will!
- Still have a problem - find an accountability person
who can help you work your way out of the lust domination
you are in - a lot of christian churches can help in this
will have a certain background level of sexual thoughts,
sexual images and sexual desires very regularly surfacing
in his brain. This is not lust. It is only when these
things begin to dominate and control a guy's thinking and
actions that lust would be defined.
Note it is not possible to return to the innocent level
most had when they were still young boys, so don't make
that level your aim. You won't get there now that
testosterone is involved!
The level of "lust" in your life is a daily thing that
needs to be actively controlled, especially in the sex
obsessed society we live in!"